fakin’ bacon

I was working as a grounds keeper and I was potting little trees along the side of a road but the little trees were so weird they had nails all over their bark one of them started to peel and fall apart because of the nails so I started pulling it apart getting to the pulp of it and laying each layer down on the floor when I thought to myself how the strips of bark looked a lot like bacon and had the genius idea of selling it as bacon for vegans but it smelled like pine. I also remember a man smoking a cigarette with no filter walking by.